Offended

作曲 : Marshall Mathers

You claim if you get knocked by the cops

You'll give 'em not even a statement

Walk in the arraignment, shoot the bailiff

Karate kick the plaintiff

Gotti with the stainless

I'll just call it shoddy entertainment

If y'all was in the party gettin' faded

On molly, had the audience sedated

You wouldn't catch a body if it fainted

Probably let it fall and hit the pavement

But you'd be the first lobbyin' to claim it

*****, stop bein' a lame

Your hobby isn’t robbery and dismemberin' body limbs

Like you was Tommy Lynn Sells

And chainsawing them in the basement

Hardly fits your job description

Ain't nobody dippin' out the back of the club like,

\"Oh my God, he's trippin'\"

Only time you get the blade is probably

With the dang lawn equipment, ain't it?

Wouldn't take a bobby pin and wave it

I need to stop bein' debated

You're still copyin', Xeroxing,

I'm still coppin' a feel

Like Bill Cosby at will,

Popping a pill then spill Oxys in Jill's coffee

Then send her out to the hotel lobby a lil' wobbly

And still groggy

This blonde ***** reprehensible misconducts,

Never sensible

Kiss my butt, my set of principles is gone

But 'til I get the President to respond

My pen and pencil is a missile launcher

And send it to Mitch McConnell

Just as big of a ***** as Donald

****'s on, bruh

Let me sing this **** soprano

While I do it pizzicato

Ivanka, stiff arm her

While I'm hittin' on Melania

And this song's for all ya

'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me

They want me to go eat some worms

I hope you offended

And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt

But I'ma make you eat your words

I hope you offended

You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up

'Cause you're only gonna make things worse

I hope you offended

'Cause I swear when I get up I'm never gonna let up

'Til everybody eats my turds

These drums and hard snares bring out the worst in me

Like Justin Ross Harris at a nursery

Goin' ham at candy yam on nanny cam

I'm gettin' handys with the zanny Xannys in the Caddy armrest

I'm imagining objects, so I'm batting cobwebs

From a daddy longleg

And Hamtramck, got the panoramic camera

Xanax, a banana hammock and a Santa hat

I'm smellin' like a damn mechanic

With a chick that looks like Janet Jackson with a Spanish accent

Twice your age and I'm actin' half it

Grow up? Nah

Not that I know of, y'all

Basement just got a frickin' overhaul,

Got a stripper pole installed

Started rollin' all through those Kolonopins like a bowlin' ball

Like an overdose on twice the ratio of Propofol

And go through no withdrawal

While I get fellatio and give a facial

To an interracial blow-up doll of Rachel Dolezal

You're so appalled, so's my manager (Em)

***** I'm amateur, **** a pro career

Coast is clear, but nowhere to go from here

And nobody's close, so don't compare

They ain't nowhere near, I'm way over here

My competition can't see me

'Cause I don't own a mirror

But Marshall, you are terrific, so smart and gifted

I'm so narcissistic, when I fart, I sniff it

Do a fake dab to smell my armpits with it

Your anxiety's throwin' gang signs

But I made strides with these rape lines

I'm cuttin' back on women hate crimes

Like Ray Rice when he FaceTimes

Bang, bang, bang, bang time

Dang knives to butcher them gay wives

You're gonna need sutures the same size

As the blade I push into captcha

Pull 'em like sleigh rides

Gotta stab a ***** at least eight times

To make it on Dateline

I came to stake my claim like a canine

Waitin' in a buffet line

So Kellyanne Conway, I'm a really bad hombre

Come play, belly dance on me

I've been making wedding plans all day

'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me

They want me to go eat some worms

I hope you offended

And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt

But I'ma make you eat your words

I hope you offended

You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up

'Cause you're only gonna make things worse

I hope you offended

'Cause I swear when I get up I'm never gonna let up

'Til everybody eats my turds

Eight year old with the wordplay

Girl, take this pole like a survey

Today wasn't my birthday

But I'm caked up like a dessert tray

So we're in shape

'Cause you're in a slurrin' state

I’m a ten, you’re an eight, like what I do before

After, and during rape

You wanna get into a pissin' contest and find out who's better?

And they made a fool out of what I pulled out him

R. Kelly with a full bladder

Not in high school, grad, I'm not a scholar

But I'm so cold that I'm droppin' out with my degrees

It's the same as I got in college (zero)

But nobody's hotter, you owe me my respect

I owe you nada like lodi partner that blow me

Told you I'm so dirty,

Homie you can throw me in some holy water

With some floaties on

And get the soap, and try to get the Pope to hold me

While you hose me off And nope I won't be washed

You hope to God I don't explode,

I gotta blow this spot up, though

I got a lotta more

I won't put the sugar coating on it though

'Cause sometimes you can feel like your energy's expired

Rap's got you drained, dead tired, zapped

You feel like a wet pile of crap

But look, man, like the feds buggin' my phone, uh huh

I get why you're tapped

But you gotta get your fire back

Catch fire, get upset and fire back

Is what I tell myself

When times get bad

'Cause sometimes I might get sad

Well I take the same advice I had

And tell myself like I used to tell Hailie, when life's a drag

Told her to do like her dad, don't cry, get mad

'Cause little baby powders belong in diaper bags

I'm hyper, by the time you see this side of me

I'm right in your ass

'Fore the pen, I stood up for the kid

Who had to put up with the bullies at his school (at his school)

You ain't have to have no money

Or go shoppin' just to cop a ******' attitude

Now my dough's amountin' to a mountain,

It's rised too high to count it

Never asked to be rich, all I did was

Wish I had a dime for every time that I was doubted

But then I think about it and I'm enraged

'Cause I just figured out that if I was paid

For the time I spent to put the pen to the page

It'd be minimum wage

But it's embedded in my head

And if I hunted for the bread and butter

What I wanted was to be the one that they was scared of

But I'm never gonna get the credit for the sweat

And blood I put up in the pen

And when I'm dead I wonder will they put me on a pedestal

Or forget I was ever this incredible

I guess I better go harder than ever 'cause I'll never get

Another ***********' opportunity again

To offend as many people with this I can, simply because I can

'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me

They want me to go eat some worms

I hope you offended

And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt

But I'ma make you eat your words

I hope you offended

You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up

'Cause you're only gonna make things worse

I hope you offended

'Cause I swear when I get up I'm never gonna let up

'Til everybody eats my turds

[00:00.000] 作曲 : Marshall Mathers

[00:00.00]You claim if you get knocked by the cops

[00:01.68]You'll give 'em not even a statement

[00:03.01]Walk in the arraignment, shoot the bailiff

[00:05.47]Karate kick the plaintiff

[00:06.56]Gotti with the stainless

[00:08.23]I'll just call it shoddy entertainment

[00:09.93]If y'all was in the party gettin' faded

[00:11.52]On molly, had the audience sedated

[00:13.22]You wouldn't catch a body if it fainted

[00:14.94]Probably let it fall and hit the pavement

[00:16.73]But you'd be the first lobbyin' to claim it

[00:18.38]*****, stop bein' a lame

[00:19.96]Your hobby isn’t robbery and dismemberin' body limbs

[00:22.71]Like you was Tommy Lynn Sells

[00:24.01]And chainsawing them in the basement

[00:25.34]Hardly fits your job description

[00:26.71]Ain't nobody dippin' out the back of the club like,

[00:28.37]\"Oh my God, he's trippin'\"

[00:29.19]Only time you get the blade is probably

[00:30.56]With the dang lawn equipment, ain't it?

[00:32.16]Wouldn't take a bobby pin and wave it

[00:33.84]I need to stop bein' debated

[00:37.30]You're still copyin', Xeroxing,

[00:39.47]I'm still coppin' a feel

[00:41.01]Like Bill Cosby at will,

[00:42.19]Popping a pill then spill Oxys in Jill's coffee

[00:44.75]Then send her out to the hotel lobby a lil' wobbly

[00:47.30]And still groggy

[00:48.29]This blonde ***** reprehensible misconducts,

[00:51.16]Never sensible

[00:51.96]Kiss my butt, my set of principles is gone

[00:53.95]But 'til I get the President to respond

[00:55.91]My pen and pencil is a missile launcher

[00:57.69]And send it to Mitch McConnell

[00:58.84]Just as big of a ***** as Donald

[01:00.23]****'s on, bruh

[01:01.39]Let me sing this **** soprano

[01:03.49]While I do it pizzicato

[01:04.73]Ivanka, stiff arm her

[01:06.31]While I'm hittin' on Melania

[01:07.95]And this song's for all ya

[01:09.57]'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me

[01:11.07]They want me to go eat some worms

[01:12.47]I hope you offended

[01:13.23]And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt

[01:15.08]But I'ma make you eat your words

[01:16.81]I hope you offended

[01:17.40]You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up

[01:19.37]'Cause you're only gonna make things worse

[01:21.11]I hope you offended

[01:21.85]'Cause I swear when I get up I'm never gonna let up

[01:23.59]'Til everybody eats my turds

[01:25.33]These drums and hard snares bring out the worst in me

[01:28.17]Like Justin Ross Harris at a nursery

[01:30.12]Goin' ham at candy yam on nanny cam

[01:32.45]I'm gettin' handys with the zanny Xannys in the Caddy armrest

[01:34.82]I'm imagining objects, so I'm batting cobwebs

[01:36.41]From a daddy longleg

[01:37.28]And Hamtramck, got the panoramic camera

[01:39.36]Xanax, a banana hammock and a Santa hat

[01:41.45]I'm smellin' like a damn mechanic

[01:42.74]With a chick that looks like Janet Jackson with a Spanish accent

[01:45.02]Twice your age and I'm actin' half it

[01:46.90]Grow up? Nah

[01:49.60]Not that I know of, y'all

[01:50.70]Basement just got a frickin' overhaul,

[01:53.12]Got a stripper pole installed

[01:54.34]Started rollin' all through those Kolonopins like a bowlin' ball

[01:56.72]Like an overdose on twice the ratio of Propofol

[01:59.31]And go through no withdrawal

[02:00.18]While I get fellatio and give a facial

[02:01.98]To an interracial blow-up doll of Rachel Dolezal

[02:04.37]You're so appalled, so's my manager (Em)

[02:07.61]***** I'm amateur, **** a pro career

[02:09.44]Coast is clear, but nowhere to go from here

[02:11.07]And nobody's close, so don't compare

[02:12.86]They ain't nowhere near, I'm way over here

[02:14.38]My competition can't see me

[02:15.84]'Cause I don't own a mirror

[02:18.06]But Marshall, you are terrific, so smart and gifted

[02:21.50]I'm so narcissistic, when I fart, I sniff it

[02:23.17]Do a fake dab to smell my armpits with it

[02:24.71]Your anxiety's throwin' gang signs

[02:26.91]But I made strides with these rape lines

[02:28.64]I'm cuttin' back on women hate crimes

[02:30.33]Like Ray Rice when he FaceTimes

[02:32.14]Bang, bang, bang, bang time

[02:33.86]Dang knives to butcher them gay wives

[02:35.51]You're gonna need sutures the same size

[02:37.23]As the blade I push into captcha

[02:38.74]Pull 'em like sleigh rides

[02:40.78]Gotta stab a ***** at least eight times

[02:42.38]To make it on Dateline

[02:43.62]I came to stake my claim like a canine

[02:45.76]Waitin' in a buffet line

[02:46.91]So Kellyanne Conway, I'm a really bad hombre

[02:50.54]Come play, belly dance on me

[02:52.25]I've been making wedding plans all day

[02:54.58]'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me

[02:56.23]They want me to go eat some worms

[02:57.82]I hope you offended

[02:58.50]And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt

[03:00.46]But I'ma make you eat your words

[03:01.99]I hope you offended

[03:02.77]You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up

[03:04.59]'Cause you're only gonna make things worse

[03:06.31]I hope you offended

[03:07.07]'Cause I swear when I get up I'm never gonna let up

[03:08.78]'Til everybody eats my turds

[03:10.65]Eight year old with the wordplay

[03:13.47]Girl, take this pole like a survey

[03:15.06]Today wasn't my birthday

[03:16.75]But I'm caked up like a dessert tray

[03:18.55]So we're in shape

[03:20.40]'Cause you're in a slurrin' state

[03:21.71]I’m a ten, you’re an eight, like what I do before

[03:24.50]After, and during rape

[03:25.99]You wanna get into a pissin' contest and find out who's better?

[03:28.86]And they made a fool out of what I pulled out him

[03:30.54]R. Kelly with a full bladder

[03:31.84]Not in high school, grad, I'm not a scholar

[03:34.23]But I'm so cold that I'm droppin' out with my degrees

[03:35.63]It's the same as I got in college (zero)

[03:37.23]But nobody's hotter, you owe me my respect

[03:39.43]I owe you nada like lodi partner that blow me

[03:41.27]Told you I'm so dirty,

[03:42.02]Homie you can throw me in some holy water

[03:43.67]With some floaties on

[03:44.64]And get the soap, and try to get the Pope to hold me

[03:46.42]While you hose me off And nope I won't be washed

[03:48.10]You hope to God I don't explode,

[03:49.23]I gotta blow this spot up, though

[03:50.23]I got a lotta more

[03:51.14]I won't put the sugar coating on it though

[03:52.66]'Cause sometimes you can feel like your energy's expired

[03:55.22]Rap's got you drained, dead tired, zapped

[03:57.70]You feel like a wet pile of crap

[03:59.29]But look, man, like the feds buggin' my phone, uh huh

[04:01.54]I get why you're tapped

[04:02.72]But you gotta get your fire back

[04:04.32]Catch fire, get upset and fire back

[04:05.93]Is what I tell myself

[04:07.97]When times get bad

[04:09.65]'Cause sometimes I might get sad

[04:11.25]Well I take the same advice I had

[04:12.85]And tell myself like I used to tell Hailie, when life's a drag

[04:16.46]Told her to do like her dad, don't cry, get mad

[04:19.93]'Cause little baby powders belong in diaper bags

[04:23.38]I'm hyper, by the time you see this side of me

[04:25.61]I'm right in your ass

[04:26.84]'Fore the pen, I stood up for the kid

[04:29.00]Who had to put up with the bullies at his school (at his school)

[04:31.03]You ain't have to have no money

[04:32.11]Or go shoppin' just to cop a ******' attitude

[04:33.71]Now my dough's amountin' to a mountain,

[04:36.05]It's rised too high to count it

[04:37.18]Never asked to be rich, all I did was

[04:38.72]Wish I had a dime for every time that I was doubted

[04:40.46]But then I think about it and I'm enraged

[04:42.89]'Cause I just figured out that if I was paid

[04:44.61]For the time I spent to put the pen to the page

[04:46.22]It'd be minimum wage

[04:47.23]But it's embedded in my head

[04:48.67]And if I hunted for the bread and butter

[04:49.62]What I wanted was to be the one that they was scared of

[04:51.28]But I'm never gonna get the credit for the sweat

[04:52.50]And blood I put up in the pen

[04:53.38]And when I'm dead I wonder will they put me on a pedestal

[04:54.97]Or forget I was ever this incredible

[04:56.13]I guess I better go harder than ever 'cause I'll never get

[04:57.64]Another ***********' opportunity again

[04:59.16]To offend as many people with this I can, simply because I can

[05:01.75]'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me

[05:03.88]They want me to go eat some worms

[05:05.42]I hope you offended

[05:06.14]And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt

[05:08.02]But I'ma make you eat your words

[05:09.66]I hope you offended

[05:10.32]You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up

[05:12.17]'Cause you're only gonna make things worse

[05:13.90]I hope you offended

[05:14.54]'Cause I swear when I get up I'm never gonna let up

[05:16.44]'Til everybody eats my turds